B.

i will never forget those days.
i keep replaying those memories whenever i feel sad, lonely or stressed.
how can i wake up among 4 strange walls and feel like i found my home.
these feelings are the best thing i've ever felt in my life.
your arms make me feel so safe, at home.
your face is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen and i wouldn't mind just watching it for the rest of my life.
i am so in love with you, words don't do it any justice.
magical.
love.
forever.

He wasn't interested in her, you could see that in his eyes.
He was bored, she was a convenient way to consume those long summer nights, that's how it started.
He was hunting for a graceful, simple, gorgeous woman but he couldn't find her so he settled for the clumsy, unreadable girl with conflicted ideas.
He never took her seriously, she was this joke he repeated so many times that it lost it's humor, until a point where nothing was funny anymore.


He woke up one day on a train, looked out the window and saw all those raw yellow crunchy leafs they reminded him of her, the girl with those raw ideas, crunchy jokes and fire in her words and suddenly it all made sense.
All those long walks where everything he said was contradictory with her thoughts; it was her, all along.
That girl with those uncommon thoughts.

I met you and it all made sense.

It was a dark and cold room,with  no windows and no ray of sunshine and my loneliness got the best of me sometimes.
It was sad and boring and it made me stone cold.
Something was missing.

Then you came along.
You knocked down those dark walls,built new ones with windows and lit up the room.
My heart is softer and warmer and my life is painted with new colors.

I never knew you could miss something you never felt,but I did.

Do you have a place that fills you up with memories and emotions?

        

I love you so much.
These words don't seem to actually reflect on how many feelings I have for you.
There is no combination of 26 letters that is able to make me describe how I feel about you.
I honestly love every little piece of you,I love the good ones I love the bad ones even more,they make me realize you are actually human,and you,indeed,exist;here.With me.

I appreciate every second spent by your side,every silly joke,every kiss,every laugh,everything.

The little things,the way your eyes light up when you see an animal and the pure joy you have when you pet them,the way you get frustrated about games when something goes wrong.the way you don't like corn on your pizza,your sweet morning sleepy voice,the way you love and respect your parents,your sweet laugh,the way you handle numbers and math in general,your life values and how you picture it...

And the sweet moments like when we played tickle on my bedroom floor,when we tried to dance outside with no music on even tho we were pretty bad at it,when you drag me to catch the tram,the way you always seem to cheer me up,when we were making art together,when we cried that evening in that tram when you told me how you feel,when you leave me those wonderful,sweet texts in the morning,our silly jokes and pokes,nose bitting,how you take care of me...

I don't think I've ever met 2 people who love eachother as much as we do and that makes me pretty damn happy.

[2015.May]

Walking past our local art school always makes me wonder how my life would've turn out if i wasn't scared.If I had just a little bit more confidence and if I would just given myself a little bit more credit.
I know that everyone says that you shouldn't live in the past, but sometimes you just can't help it but wonder how things would've work out.
It's probably the only thing I would change if I could go back in time (if anyone out there knows a way, hit me up with the info).
I will introduce here the corny excuse most people tell after an unfulfilled dream or failed task "Everything happens for a reason", I used to believe in that so hard in my younger years, it was good for everything, relationships, friendships, accidents, most life events.
It's comforting, it takes away the blame.Most of you would probably say:"yes but what you've been through helped you become who you are now" and you are totally right, I agree but you don't know anything, who you would be if your choices were different, for example maybe you wouldn't take one year to finally realize what you really want to do with your life, in which direction do you want your life to turn, which by the way was right under your eyes.Maybe it would've been easier, you know, for you, for your soul.There are so many hard and tiring things in life in the future maybe an easier start would've helped.I took the hard path, I learned the hard way, but I guess right now I'm headed into the right direction, I'm doing what I love and maybe in a year I'll reflect on these times and have a totally changed opinion but right now, what I do, where I tend to go and what I intend to accomplish make me happy and confident and I'm writing this down to remind myself that for the first time I have a direction and a final goal.

[2016.May]

I made it!
I did it.
I got into art school, and I feel so very accomplished and fulfilled.
I keep learning new things, I keep discovering myself and new ways to express myself.
I absolutely love what I'm doing, and this path I'm walking on.
I've met lovely people who turned out to be my friends, I love being around them, they are the nicest people ever.
At home everything is calm, looking back at the rough times we went through last year, now everything is amazing.
I've met an amazing person, who now, I can proudly call my boyfriend, he is the best.I absolutely love him so much, it's unbelievable how well we complete and understand each other.I've never felt this way before, it's like a fairytale.
All I have to say is that it was worth it, it was worth every tear and every sleepless night, I wouldn't change a thing.I feel so happy.
This post is for every person who is going through a rough time, please hold on, things are always getting better, and this is just an example.
Please don't give up, life can be pretty amazing, wait and experience it on your own. :)

Take care!
B.